The Window To Our Soul

On September 11, 2001, I watched from my kitchen television, in disbelief, as fire consumed the North and South towers of the World Trade Center. Billowing black smoke spread all over New York City. Four hijacked planes were turned into weapons of mass destruction.

The twin towers of the World Trade Center, once symbols of ambition and strength, collapsed in less than two hours.

What had taken seven years to build was reduced to rubble in minutes.

Destruction can be sudden, deeply personal and deadly.

And, the truth is, many of us carry that same destructive power with us all the time - in our own mouths—the words we speak! Words that, when spoken carelessly or cruelly, do just as much damage to our relationships as that fire did to the twin towers.

Think about it. When we’re irritated, do we lash out with sarcasm? Do we make slick remarks that jab at the people we say we care about? Or do we take a different route—pausing to describe what we feel and why, so others have a good chance to understand us?

A great tool is called “Situation-Behavior-Impact,” or “SBI” for short.
Here’s how it works:

• Situation: Describe the context—what was happening.
• Behavior: State the specific action you observed.
• Impact: Explain how that action affected you.

This process shifts the focus from accusation to clarity. It invites us to understand instead of being defensive.

And please, please, please delete the phrase, “I’m feeling some kind of way.” What on earth does that even mean?!!! Each person will interpret it based on their own emotional state and life experiences. And chances are, they’ll get it wrong! We must be Clear, Specific and Honest.

Our words have power. They’re either building something or breaking it down. They carry truth, encouragement, and healing—or they carry bitterness, sarcasm, and destruction.

When we hit others with careless words, the damage can be deep and long-lasting.

Trust, like the twin towers, takes years to build but seconds to destroy.

We live through our relationships. Whether it’s at home, at work, or with friends. The quality of our lives depends heavily on how well we relate to others. That’s why we must be intentional with what we say, how we say it, and when we say it.

Your mouth reveals your heart. If bitterness lives inside, it will leak out in your tone. If love and respect live there, people will feel it when you speak.

Words are windows. What people hear from you tells them what’s going on inside of you. Wow! That is such a powerful revelation!

The goal today?

Be a builder. Choose your words with care. Speak life, not destruction. Compliment more than you criticize.

And when you bless others with your words, you might be surprised how quickly those blessings come back to you.