In the last three months, Willie and I have attended seven funerals.

From loving tributes to a family member passing away during the actual funeral service, to relatives arguing right before the service about who was left out of the will!

At one of the less “drama-filled services,” Willie gave remarks about “The Dash.” The dash on the tombstone is that small line between a person’s birth and death. But it holds great symbolism.

This symbolism represents the entirety of a person’s life – the legacy they leave behind, and how they have influenced the world – positively or negatively. It’s everything from the relationships they’ve built to the kindness they showed and the dreams they pursued.

It is a reminder that our lives are finite, yet the impact we leave can last for an eternity.
So…how do we make our own dash meaningful? It’s never too early to “think on these things,” as my daddy, Rivers, would say.

So here are my thoughts as we live our challenging (and hopefully) meaningful lives.

We make our dash meaningful when we live with purpose, have compassion, and make a positive difference in the lives of others – leaving this world a little better than we found it.

I found this poem that captures the sentiment, called "The Dash" by Linda Ellis.

She writes:

"For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars…the house…the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash."

Linda Ellis reminds us that life’s true worth lies not in material possessions but in relationships, love, and actions that uplift others.

The idea that our legacy is often defined by how we make others feel is a concept echoed by psychologists, philosophers, and thought leaders across many fields.

For example, Dr. Maya Angelou, the celebrated poet and author famously said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The field of positive psychology, pioneered by researchers like Martin Seligman, emphasizes the importance of kindness, empathy, and positive interpersonal interactions for well-being.

He says positive emotions that result from meaningful connections contribute to a sense of fulfillment and leave lasting impressions on others.

And Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, explores how empathy, attentiveness, and respect for others create a powerful legacy of connection.

And even Aristotle (384–322 BCE), the Greek philosopher and whose ideas helped shaped Western thought and knowledge said that a virtuous life is defined by one's relationships and actions within the community.

These authorities, spanning fields from literature to psychology, highlight that how we make others feel defines our relationships, and ultimately, our legacy.

The emotional connections we create through kindness, empathy, and compassion is what leaves a lasting impression in the hearts of others.

So, can we make our dash count? I’m glad you asked!

Here are 6 ways:

1. Cultivate Kindness and Empathy
   Treating others with kindness, patience, and empathy creates a ripple effect that can spread far beyond our immediate circle. Small gestures of kindness can strengthen the bonds that connect us.
2. Engage in Lifelong Learning
   Embracing lifelong learning enriches not only our own lives but others we encounter.
3. Find a Purpose Greater Than Ourselves
   Living with purpose means focusing on goals that have a positive impact on others. A purposeful life is usually one of service to others.
4. Be Resilient and Positive
   Life has challenges and setbacks, but cultivating resilience allows us to navigate hardships with grace and courage.And when we have a positive attitude, we inspire those around us to keep going too.
5. Build and Maintain Strong Relationships
   At the end of life, people remember relationships more than achievements. Prioritize our families, friendships, and community. Being present, supportive, and available for others brings fulfillment to both us and those around us.
6. Pass on the Wisdom
   The wisdom and the experiences of our lifetime are gifts for the next generation. Mentoring, sharing stories, and offering guidance can positively shape younger lives, helping them see how to navigate their own paths with a bit more clarity and confidence.

In the end, the dash represents how we chose to live each day, and its meaning is unique to each of us.

Embracing these values allows us to leave a legacy of love, compassion, and growth.

On the surface, it may appear tragic. But yet, somehow elegant – the complexities of life distilled into something so simple – the dash.

Long after we’re gone, the little dash on a head stone can symbolize a life well-lived.

Make your dash count!