Discipline. That word never seems to get folks excited.

It certainly doesn’t sound very pleasant. Some of us cringe when we hear it.

Mr. Google defines discipline as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

Punishment, that’s an ugly word too.

Discipline can take all the fun and spontaneity out of life. The thought of discipline can make you feel anxious. Anxious for you want – that apple pie for dessert with a little vanilla ice cream on top. You can just taste it, but your doctor warned you that your A1C was too high. And you promised yourself to lower your glucose by cutting out desserts. But you tell yourself, “One little piece can’t hurt.”

Anxious for the attorney’s number that is still not dialed. You helped referee the fight between your bother-in-law and his two sisters over who gets Mom’s ten-room reverse-mortgaged house, the antic, Model T Ford and the fifteen thousand dollars, in cash, found stuffed in an old lard can above the stove.

Your youngest child is more responsible with financial matters. But your oldest would have hurt feelings if he’s not managing your affairs in the event of your illness or passing.

So, you do nothing…no will, no trust, no estate plan.

Anxious. Why, oh why were you lured into buy that three-thousand-dollar

Peloton bike? Getting an aerobic workout doesn't happen by looking at the bike.

Removing the stack of clothes from the bike seat and getting on the bike would be a start in the right direction.

Please STOP! This is so depressing.

Why don’t we reframe this word “discipline” and think of it as a form of “self-love.”

Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D., contributing writer of Psychology Today, says, “Self-love is when we appreciate ourselves. It’s not simply a state of feeling good. It’s a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.”

Self-love means having a high regard for our own well-being and happiness.

Self-love is dynamic. Self-love is an action.

Self-love is taking care of our own needs before we are swallowed up by the life challenges of others.

Self-love influences the image we project to the world; how we cope with problems; how we see our future. Self-love shapes our overall well-being.

When we cultivate self-love, we have a growth mindset.

We identify our life’s purpose, accept our shortcomings, and work at making a positive impact on our world with the knowledge, skills, and talents we possess.

So, how do we turn the word “discipline” into “self-love” to accomplish what is in our own best interest – but so often uncomfortable to do?

Here’s my list of 7:

1. Forgive Ourselves.
   The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves for all the mistakes we’ve made. Stop it.There are no failures if we’ve learned and grown from our mistakes. There are only lessons learned and things we won’t do again!
2. Say No.
   You love yourself when you can say no to people, activities and stuff that suck your energy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And say “No” ever so nicely.
3. Focus on What We NEED, Not Want.
   Remove the foods, people, and things, from our environment that get us into trouble.
4. Practice Self-care First.
   When we board the aircraft, we’re reminded by the flight attendant reminds us to fasten our safety belts. And, in case of turbulence, put on our own mask first, before helping others.When our own basic needs are met (sleep, food, shelter), we can care for others with kindness, patience, and thoughtfulness. Others cannot take advantage of us.
5. Write Your Top 3 Goals
   Daily, for the next three months, ask yourself, how can I love myself into turning my goals into reality?Now, write all the action steps needed to turn each of those top three goals into being.
6. Now work your plans.
7.  Rinse and repeat daily for three months or until the goals are achieved.

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